When Negotiating, Look For Nonverbal Cues:Your mother probably taught you that it's rude to stare. But when you negotiate a business deal, close observation of your opponent makes sense.By inspecting your opponent's every physical move, you can often determine whether he or she is holding something back or not telling the truth.The key is not to stare so much that you make your opponent uncomfortable, but to be aware of his or her movements through casual glances and friendly eye contact.It will almost certainly give you an edge. What should you look for? Experts who study body language suggest a two-step process. First, identify a subject's mannerisms during the initial, friendly stages of a discussion. As the negotiation unfolds, see whether your opponent suddenly adopts different behavior. "You have to watch people a long time to establish what their baseline mode is," said David Hayano, author of "Poker Faces." "Once you know how they normally behave, you may be able to tell when they start to put on an act." Hayano is a retired professor of anthropology at California State University at Northridge, who has analyzed the body language of poker players, and he's found that the rapport-building stage is a valuable time to study your opponent. Why? Because that's when you get to know someone's "natural" behavior. "If you are dealing with a very talkative executive who all of a sudden gets meek during the heat of the negotiation, then something strange is going on," he said. It may be a clue that your opponent is hiding something; other clues are exaggerated movements or excessive enthusiasm. Hayano says that in poker, for example, a player who throws chips forcefully on the table or suddenly behaves in a brash, aggressive way may be masking his being stuck with a weak hand of cards. The same goes for executives who loudly and repeatedly proclaim that they're making a major concession, when in fact they're not giving up much. "When you're negotiating with someone who starts overtalking and backslapping, this can mean they really have little to offer,".
The Seven Signals for SuccessSo far we have focused primarily on the pitfalls to avoid; but what messages should be sent, and how? Here are seven general suggestions on good body language for the interview.
1. Walk slowly,deliberately, and tall upon entering the room.
2. On greeting the interviewer, give (and, hopefully, receive) a friendly "eyebrow flash": that brief,slight raising of the brows that calls attention to the face, encourages eye contact, and (when accompanied by a natural smile) sends the strong positive signal that the interview has gotten off to a good start.
3. Use mirroring techniques. In other words, make an effort -- subtly! -- to reproduce the positive signals your interviewer sends. (Of course, you should never mirror negative body signals.) Say the interviewer leans forward to make a point; a few moments later, you lean forward slightly in order to hear better. Say the interviewer leans back and laughs; you "laugh beneath" the interviewer's laughter, taking care not to overwhelm your partner by using an inappropriate volume level. This technique may seem contrived at first, but you will learn that it is far from that, if only you experiment a little.
4. Maintain a naturally alert head position; keep your head up and your eyes front at all times.
5. Remember to avert your gaze from time to time so as to avoid the impression that you are staring; when you do so, look confidently and calmly to the right or left; never look down.
6. Do not hurry any movement. 7. Relax with every breath
