Don't worry about the future

Kurt Vonnegut's commencement address at M

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis morereliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense thisadvice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You willnot understand the power and beauty of your but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen........

Masters of Body Language

When Negotiating, Look For Nonverbal Cues:

Your mother probably taught you that it's rude to stare. But when you negotiate a business deal, close observation of your opponent makes sense.By inspecting your opponent's every physical move, you can often determine whether he or she is holding something back or not telling the truth.The key is not to stare so much that you make your opponent uncomfortable, but to be aware of his or her movements through casual glances and friendly eye contact.It will almost certainly give you an edge. What should you look for? Experts who study body language suggest a two-step process. First, identify a subject's mannerisms during the initial, friendly stages of a discussion. As the negotiation unfolds, see whether your opponent suddenly adopts different behavior. "You have to watch people a long time to establish what their baseline mode is," said David Hayano, author of "Poker Faces." "Once you know how they normally behave, you may be able to tell when they start to put on an act." Hayano is a retired professor of anthropology at California State University at Northridge, who has analyzed the body language of poker players, and he's found that the rapport-building stage is a valuable time to study your opponent. Why? Because that's when you get to know someone's "natural" behavior. "If you are dealing with a very talkative executive who all of a sudden gets meek during the heat of the negotiation, then something strange is going on," he said. It may be a clue that your opponent is hiding something; other clues are exaggerated movements or excessive enthusiasm. Hayano says that in poker, for example, a player who throws chips forcefully on the table or suddenly behaves in a brash, aggressive way may be masking his being stuck with a weak hand of cards. The same goes for executives who loudly and repeatedly proclaim that they're making a major concession, when in fact they're not giving up much. "When you're negotiating with someone who starts overtalking and backslapping, this can mean they really have little to offer,".

The Seven Signals for Success
So far we have focused primarily on the pitfalls to avoid; but what messages should be sent, and how? Here are seven general suggestions on good body language for the interview.
1. Walk slowly,deliberately, and tall upon entering the room.
2. On greeting the interviewer, give (and, hopefully, receive) a friendly "eyebrow flash": that brief,slight raising of the brows that calls attention to the face, encourages eye contact, and (when accompanied by a natural smile) sends the strong positive signal that the interview has gotten off to a good start.
3. Use mirroring techniques. In other words, make an effort -- subtly! -- to reproduce the positive signals your interviewer sends. (Of course, you should never mirror negative body signals.) Say the interviewer leans forward to make a point; a few moments later, you lean forward slightly in order to hear better. Say the interviewer leans back and laughs; you "laugh beneath" the interviewer's laughter, taking care not to overwhelm your partner by using an inappropriate volume level. This technique may seem contrived at first, but you will learn that it is far from that, if only you experiment a little.
4. Maintain a naturally alert head position; keep your head up and your eyes front at all times.
5. Remember to avert your gaze from time to time so as to avoid the impression that you are staring; when you do so, look confidently and calmly to the right or left; never look down.
6. Do not hurry any movement. 7. Relax with every breath